Dark Souls Coming to PC, DLC Forthcoming

Now to contrast the unfortunate news of the previous post, here’s something we can all be thankful for.  From Software’s will be bringing their 2011 hit suicide simulator Dark Souls to the PC on 8/24.  “So what?” you might be saying.  “I already own it for the PS3 / 360.  What does this matter to me?”  Well you’ve got a lot of nerve, mister.

As it happens, the PC port will include some new DLC dubbed “Artorias of the Abyss”.  This will feature new areas, enemies, bosses and equipment.  Best of all, it’s going to be brought to the console versions this coming winter.  Happy now, you lousy ingrate?

The Sequel No One Asked For! – Lords of Shadow 2 Trailer

Did you ask for a sequel to Mercury Steam’s tepid 2010 release, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow?  I know I sure as hell didn’t.

For those who didn’t finish the original, you might be a little confused as to why Gabriel is killing knights in a seemingly indiscriminate manner.  As it happens, he ended up becoming a vampire for really no good reason, dubbing himself “Dracula” in the ending to the DLC.  So now I guess he’s evil?

This is what Castlevania’s been reduced to.  Sigh.

First Image of Dead Space 3

Well here’s something that’s sure to get Wildcat excited.  Kotaku has what could be the first image of Dead Space 3, showing what appears to be Isaac floating around over a planet of some sort.  Early reports state that the next entry in the franchise will ape Lost Planet and take place on a world filled with ice and snow.

This is all well and good, but I’m not sure if I’m quite ready for another game in this series just yet.  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting rather annoyed by the industry’s perpetual motion machine, requiring sequels on an annual or bi-annual basis.  I mean, I can eat an entire bag of Doritos in a single sitting, but I don’t want to do that every week.  Okay…I do, but you get the idea.

I’d put money on EA revealing more details at E3 in the coming weeks.  God, crazy to think it’s almost time for that again already, isn’t it?

Batman Shilled for Ms. Pac-Man

Get ready for a trip in the Wayback machine.  Kotaku just posted this video of several modern celebrities in video game-related ads from the 80s and early 90s.  Of particular note is a very young Christian Bale in an commercial for Ms. Pac-Man being added to Pac-Man cereal.  He can do these things because he’s not a hero.

Custom Video Game Anime Openings

Well this is a pleasant surprise.  Do you like anime?  Do you enjoy video games?  If so, the folks at Nico Nico Douga have produced some very impressive tekaki videos.  For the unfamiliar, these involve taking the opening or ending sequences to various anime and tracing over them by hand, frame by frame, to alter them into something completely different.  In this case, they’ve altered the likes of Full Metal Alchemist, Lupin III, K-ON! and more, transforming them into rather impressive sequences for FFVI, MGS, Phoenix Wright, and a few others.

Check out these clips:

Full Metal Alchemist / FFVI

Lupin III / MGS

Activision Stoops to New Low – Oliver North in Black Ops II Promo

This next clip is amazing.  Not for the fact that it delivers a chilling warning about the future of global warfare.  Not because it’s an ad for Black Ops II, the sequel to one of the most successful games of all time.  No, it’s amazing because it features Oliver Goddamn North as a shill for an em effing video game.  Yes, he of Iran-Contra infamy.

This honestly makes me sick.

Music Wednesdays – Rick Derringer’s “Real American”

If you were a boy in the 80s, chances are good that you got swept up in the nationwide phenomenon known as “Hulkamania”.  Like so many others, I worshiped at the shrine of Terry Bollea for quite a few years, thanks in no small part to this amazing song.

Truth be told, I nearly cried when Hulk’s tag team partnership with Randy Savage was split in twain.

Music Wednesdays – Daft Punk’s “Around the World”

 

This is quite possibly one of the most fun / puzzling videos of all time.  Even now, 15 years later, I can enjoy it just as much as when it originally aired.

Trailer Tuesdays – BONUS POST!!!

Sunday night, I had a dream.  Not just any dream.  I dreamed I was Christian Bale as Batman, and Tom Hardy as Bane was trying to break into Wayne Manor.  I did my best to stop him, but something inside told me this was a fight I couldn’t win.  Eventually I started to make my attempt to get away, but I knew it was a lost cause.

I woke up just as he put his hands on my shoulders.

I need to see this movie, Lucius.

The Joys of Retro Gaming: Final Fight 2 (SNES)

So I finally got around to putting CFW on my PSP.  Now I can get some actual use out of the damn thing by messing around with emulators for classic systems.  My first choice to exercise this new-found freedom?  Final Fight 2 for the SNES.

This was one of the few games that I had wanted to play as a kid, but was never able to, due to the local rental store never carrying it.  For the most part, it’s a very by-the-numbers sequel, though the ability to play in 2P co-op is very much appreciated.  It still doesn’t compare with the 3P functionality of the arcade version of the original Final Fight, but it was a definite step in the right direction.

Anyway, I thought I’d mention two distinct moments that stood out to me in the game, both of which took place on stage 3, Holland.  For the uninformed, Final Fight 2 decided to eschew Metro City for a whirlwind tour of the world, beating the same five or six guys into a bloody pulp across a varied landscape of racial stereotypes.  What I found most interesting about this was when you get to the start of stage 3, you’re presented with what appears to be a war-torn, third-world country.  Also, land mines.

Now, I don’t have the most comprehensive knowledge of world history, but I’m fairly certain that Holland is known more for windmills and wooden shoes than devastation and buried explosives.  This is just a mild curiosity, though in comparison to what happens at around the 5:45 mark in the above video.

To the untrained eye, this probably appears to be completely unremarkable.  You just don’t have a dirty enough mind, I say.  Think about where this is taking place…

…give up?

Capcom made a game where you got to Holland and go inside a dyke.  Not just a finger, either.  Your whole damn body!