Opinion: ABOUT GOD DAMN TIME TAKE TWO (x2)

Nintendo remembered it has a franchise called Metroid! Oh my god! E3, you keep shocking me in unexpected ways! And not only did Nintendo announce amiibo (as pictured), but TWO games! A new entry in the Prime series led by a new dev team for the Switch (which wasn’t shown beyond a teaser in their presser, but I still appreciate the nod) alongside a proper remake of Metroid 2: Return of Samus created by Mercurysteam for the 3DS renamed Metroid: Samus Returns.

The trailer looks promising! I avoided the developer’s earlier work on Castlevania due to it being little more than a God of War clone in my eyes (my loss maybe, but eh), but this bit here showcases an action-heavy showcase of Samus being very visceral among the many Metroid inhabitants of SR338, and it’s a good look. Now some may go “but Other M” but I’m going to be upfront and say that yes, Other M did have a more melee-focused Samus as well, but it had the character progression and narrative chops of a zombie buffet table. Which is to say ROTTING. I couldn’t bring myself to witness Samus go through such sexist tripe…ugh. Anyway. My hope here is that Mercurysteam can provide a solid mechanical backbone to the GB classic, modernizing it in the right ways and leaving the storyline aspect as minimal as possible, a la the original. Let the world tell the story, not Samus. Let her focus on the mission and be freaking incredible at what she does — it’s story enough for me, and the trailer is teasing that potential. And dear god, if Nintendo can just fucking drop the fanservice — it’s 2017, for fucking fuck’s sake — and leave Samus in her armor ALL GAME LONG, I will be on the ceiling. No Zero Suit either; that’s still fanservice AND it’s cheating. Give me my bad ass bounty hunter. The first art and the amiibo are killing it with those huge shoulders. I LOVE IT. It gives Samus so much fucking clout and power to me.

Anyway! I can’t go into Prime 4 at all because it’s pretty much an unknown quantity at this point, but I just can’t believe after 7 years we are getting two proper Metroid games. Man, I’ve waited for this almost as long as I’ve waited for BG&E2…well, since I skipped Other M, it’s been ten years. SO HYPED.

I’ll have more E3 shit later on, BTW. I’m still adjusting to my new job’s early hours and so I’m sleepy. :p

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